how do you go on a vegan diet


how do you go on a vegan diet

it's easy to be a vegan and you can do it too! oh, yay! i've always wanted to be a vegan. first, we'll go through what you can eat as a vegan. oh, yay, i happen to have some food right here! what are the ingredients? "organic tapioca syrup"... is that vegan? i don't know, throw it away! do it, pussy! but it's perfectly good.


do it *chucks packet of snacks into the bin* what about "ensure"? can i have...what the fuck is that?!??! *sad face* i am so sorry. do 5 vegan hail mary's immediately!!! broccolli, celery, lettuce and cucumber, i am so sorry for violating the vegan god's trust. that's right, bitch!! please tell me that i can eat chewy sprees.


check the ingredients. ok. what is egg albumen? it's fucking poison!!! *cries in pain while throwing chewy sprees in the bin* i'm sorry!!! you piece of shit!!! i'm sorry!!! now that we're in your pantry, we can make an honest man of you. ok...what do i do?


start looking through your food, idiot!!! i have this vegetarian meat? oh, no! it has egg whites! what do i do? throw it away, you bitch! but i could donate it to homeless shelter, they need food right? fuck homeless people!!! better than a chicken torturer! what are you doing? i'm sitting in a massage chair. is it made out of animal products? i'm not totally sure, but i hope not?? you're a piece of shit!!! ok... am i allowed to sit on the couch? i don't know, what is it made out of? i don't know for sure but i'm very certain it's not leather. not good enough, just stand there. hello? hey it's greg, i just wanted to let you know i'm gonna kill my self because apparently no matter what i do, i contribute to the suffering of animals and i'm sick of hurting animals so i'm gonna fucking die and then i can't hurt them anymore!!!


oh, ok. bye!


how do you go on a vegan diet,bai! i'll never be good enough!!! *jumps into pool* *notices bug in the pool* you did the right thing!


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